Facebook trauma

- Read this and wrote this post inspired by it.

What is your problem in life is my question? You put up a picture saying ‘At the India Gate’. Arey, I am an Indian, you are an Indian…we know what India Gate is. What is the need in telling me that it is India Gate, tell me? Waste of photograph, waste of words, waste of time. Just like your Engineering only. Waste only no, after you did your MBA and now working in a petrol bunk in some USA. That is why I tell that people should have focus. Else they will climb lorries and work like coolies.

Ok, I know that in Engineering I pulled your leg and hand. But that doesn’t mean that you put up all these silly videos on my Wall, no? What is ‘look, I found you in this video’? Why is the surprise tone man. I should not be in any video or what? Only you should be in some MTV videos in some phoren land and I should be saying ‘ooo..see that dude…always dancing with white girls and all’ or what? It is ok man, I can also be in famous videos and I can also be in some famous pictures. I thought ok, I will forgive the surprise tone ok, let me check the video. Is this some kind of joke or what? I am nowhere in the video. You are blind is what I came to know. And now my laptop is throwing up all windows with pictures and videos which our elders will be ashamed of. Don’t know what is with you and this fascination for white and black women. Why can’t you select and send Indian women. You are spoilt in that Obama country I tell you. You remember our culture or no?

And why do you always like girls’ status message although some of them are extremely silly like ‘The air is fresh and clean’, ‘I feel alive’. Arey, if you feel dead, you won’t be able to facebook, no. She doesn’t know that or what? And you go and like that status. As if that is some great Nobel discovery. Just because she is single means, you go and like her status? She will not fall in love with you just because you liked her status ok? Did she ever like even one of your status? No, no. Then why everytime you jump and comment whenever she posts some random picture with her friends with comments like ‘you look gorgeous’, ‘you look very cute’ and all. Arey baba, give her roses, write her poems then she may like you. This facebook will not save your face or your heart, ok. And then, if your friend R, paapam, he is such an intelligent guy writes some profound or intelligent message, nobody likes the status. Nobody comments on it. Why? Just because he is a guy or what? I think even if R wins a Nobel prize and writes his status on facebook, he will get one like (from his mom) and one comment (from his sister). That is all. I know this facebook types. You have a 400 friends to simply show off. Nobody cares if you won a Nobel prize or a gully prize unless you are a girl who is single. Not one of this 400 friends will come to your rescue if you are just about to die. They will probably ask you to transfer your Farmville points to them. Friends it seems. Uh!

And one more thing. Why are you telling the entire world you were at Starbucks coffee in Rhode Island yesterday? We should all come and join you or what? I know man you want to show off that it is updating via your iPhone and all and you are having 5 dollar Starbucks coffee and all. But why should I know it? With 5 dollars, I can have a week’s lunch at my office here, you know. You are trying to show off that you are rich or what? Better coffee is available at Shree Ram Tea Stall near my office. 5 rupees only. Starbucks it seems, Starbucks. They are taking your bucks and becoming a star, that is what Starbucks means. Not some you are a star and all ok. Don’t be fooled, fool only you are.

And one last thing. What is this wife-husband love on my facebook wall? They don’t have their home or what? Their husband is orbiting some space station around Pluto or what? Kisses it seems, hugs it seems, lovely dinner it seems, wonderful starry night it seems. Arey baba, we are a 1.2 billion population country, no? We know all this starry night business and all. Their husbands check only facebook status updates and love their wives or what? I just don’t understand this. Now a new trend is starting. Kids pictures it seems. First the girl picture. Next the wife and husband picture. In a 1001 places around their street with lovely green and some violet background color. Our photo studio has better backgrounds than that. And now wife, husband and kids pictures it seems. Where will this end? If you keep on posting pictures like this, then facebook will go diwala only. That facebook guy will have to put towel on his face only if 1.2 billion people come to facebook and continue to put pictures like this. Arey last week some couple put a album of 250 pictures on facebook. Mad or what? They think they are some Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie or what? And I see some 25 likes on it. How does everybody have so much time? Or are they liking it just so that it will be reciprocated when time comes? Why the public tamasha? And anniversaries it seems. Do they not end or what? Event after event after event after. As if their life is like some big fun festival they are feeling off. Not true, no?

Anyway, I have noticed that you have not poked me in a while. Facebook has taken that feature off or what? Thank god, else why should you poke anybody? I tell you, in India all this is serious legal and female trouble – this poking business. It is better you Unlike this poke if and when it comes by again. Ok now, bye then. Talk later. First orkut it seems, now facebook it seems. Day after my head bursts it seems. What only this age.

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