Elections 2009 – The road to Cong-here!

Chandni Chowk to Chennai,

KING CONG,

are a few of the sobriquets and one-liners that are being used to describe the electoral victory of the Congress. A literal sweep, am sure, most of the Congressmen would be surprised with. In the face of electing such an elite party, it is but natural for some of the members of parliament to spout pearls of wisdom for the great nation, a secular, socialist republic – whatever that phrase means.

First up, the losers.

LK Advani: The people of India have given their verdict. We accept it.

Hmm, really? Very surprising. Let’s lift some iron at the ‘Gym for Older Men’ while we are accepting the loser’s speech, shall we? Let’s position a supposed-hardliner in public perception, Narendra Modi as your successor or even better, the RSS chief to completely destroy BJP’s image at a national level, shall we? And yes, let’s do all that and still hope to win the elections. Brilliant strategy.

Moving on to the winners.

Sonia Gandhi: The people of India know what is good for them and they have made the right choice.

Yes. People of India in their infinite wisdom have elected the right party, candidate and the party’s dictator. We are just too intelligent for as simple an issue as a vote. We do understand that having extremely corrupted ministers in your cabinet rank is right for the country. We also understand that letting of good friends like Mr. Quattrochi is a symbolic gesture through which you would want to communicate the value the party attaches to Friendship. We understand that National Security is not much of an issue as long as you keep winning elections. We also understand that having all the newsmen in your pockets would serve you extremely well in your negative propaganda of the other party. Yes, we have made the right choice.

Manmohan Singh: People of India have spoken and have spoken with great clarity, I will persuade Rahul Gandhi to be a member of the Union Cabinet

Dazzling leadership skills, ain’t it? He is actually going to persuade (beg?) the descent from the royal family to be a member of Union Cabinet. It’s a proud moment for him – am sure he would be patted on his back and given a day’s holiday just for making that statement. I look forward to be governed by this dynamic and energetic leader with extremely competent subservient skills. British Raj, remember? This time around, only the country is different. It’s called Italy.

The day of reckoning had arrived and is now past us. Circa 2014, unless BJP comes up with a leader who is more of Vajpayee and less of Advani (Jaswant Singh, maybe?), I am not sure that the result would be anything different from 2009, especially with Rahul Gandhi’s juggernaut rolling in 2014. Hopefully the next 5 yrs would be infinite times more productive than the extremely sluggish last 5 – that way atleast, I would be rooting for the Cong in 2014.

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